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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Reminiscences of Tolstoy by Leo Tolstoy: of which I speak. You are the only man with whom I have ever had
misunderstandings.
This arises from the very fact that I have never been willing
to confine myself to merely friendly relations with you. I have
always wanted to go further and deeper than that; but I set about
it clumsily. I irritated and upset you, and when I saw my mistake,
I drew back too hastily, perhaps; and it was this which caused this
"gulf" between us.
But this awkwardness is a mere physical impression, nothing
more; and if when we meet again, you see the old "mischievous look
in my eyes," believe me, the reason of it will not be that I am a
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