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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Reminiscences of Tolstoy by Leo Tolstoy: Nítenka had died fifty years before.
The day following all traces of the attack would disappear.
During one of these fainting fits my brother Sergéi, in
undressing my father, found a little note-book on him. He put it
in his own pocket, and next day, when he came to see my father, he
handed it back to him, telling him that he had not read it.
"There would have been no harm in your seeing it," said
my father, as he took it back.
This little diary in which he wrote down his most secret
thoughts and prayers was kept "for himself alone," and he never
showed it to any one. I saw it after my father's death. It is
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