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The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Father Sergius by Leo Tolstoy: that this meant: 'No, I am not angry.'
'You said . . .' He hesitated. It seemed too bold to say. 'You
said that you began to love me. I believe it--but there is
something that troubles you and checks your feeling. What is
it?'
'Yes--now or never!' thought she. 'He is bound to know of it
anyway. But now he will not forsake me. Ah, if he should, it
would be terrible!' And she threw a loving glance at his tall,
noble, powerful figure. She loved him now more than she had
loved the Tsar, and apart from the Imperial dignity would not
have preferred the Emperor to him.
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