Today's Tarot for Stephen Colbert

	The Cross and Triangle spread is a powerful means of understanding complex situations, developed by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. This spread is rich in occult and mystical symbolism, and one of our favorites here at Facade. The images of the Minchiate Tarot are drawn from a rare surviving 18th century deck of 97 cards - 19 more than the traditional Tarot. It is considered by many to be the single most powerful divination tool on the web, providing deep insight, rich in ancient symbolism, to any question you may pose. If you would like your own copy of the Minchiate Tarot, you can buy it now!
	The first card, the significator, is placed in the center of the cross. This card represents the prime energy manifest in your life. Nine of Wands (Strength), when reversed: Delayed preparations for an impending trial. Efforts compromised by traitors or saboteurs. The scattering of forces before the conclusive battle is fought. Ill health and faltering of the will.
	The second card, placed above the significator, represents Air. It describes your spirit, process of thought, and the influence of reason. Knight of Coins, when reversed: The essence of earth behaving as fire, such as molten magma: One slow to action, even in the most urgent circumstances. A force of nature that cannot be diverted from the wrong path. The voice of duty and honor utterly divorced from reality. Lack of imagination and the complete unwillingness to try a different approach, even if the face of complete failure. Idleness and stagnation.
	The third card, placed to the right of the significator, represents Fire. It describes your motivations, creative energies, and the influence of passion. Nine of Swords (Cruelty), when reversed: Mental anguish or ill health endured and overcome. Refusal to be dragged down by the dishonor of others. Attempting to avert a shameful or regrettable act. Faithfulness, patience and unselfishness. May indicate the narrow avoidance of a death or other catastrophic loss.
	The fourth card, placed below the significator, represents Water. It describes your emotions, meditations, and the influence of love. Five of Coins (Worry), when reversed: Concern over finance leads to prudent action. Impending physical threat is met with calm and skill. Suffering and loneliness leads to spiritual growth. Stress is met without resorting to excess or the pursuit of oblivion.
	The fifth card, placed to the left of the significator represents Earth. It describes your physical presence, position in life, and the influence of the material world. Seven of Swords (Futility), when reversed: Being trapped in a hopeless situation and unable to withdraw. A feat of daring that is too much for you to handle. Being caught in the middle of a desperate act of cunning or outright deception.
	At this point the cross is complete and the triangle is formed. The sixth card, placed on the bottom left of the triangle represents one of two opposing forces. The Star, when reversed: Lost hopes, doubt and failure. Physical health and mental outlook lost in the outer darkness. Desperation leading to blind faith in false solutions.
	The seventh card, placed on the bottom right of the triangle represents the force that opposes the bottom left card. These forces may be external, but they are frequently one's own inner archetypes in conflict. Aquarius, when reversed: An intractable and contrary eccentric, driven by destructive perversity. Detachment and lack of sympathy. Contempt for the emotional needs of others.
	The eighth card, the reconciler, is placed below the cross in the third vertex of the triangle. This is the force that will resolve the conflict between the bottom left and bottom right cards. By meditating on this force and bringing more of it into your life, you can bring the matter at hand to a swifter conclusion than would naturally occur. The World: Completeness and intricacy of design. A great work. Achievement, reward, and well-earned recognition. A time of success, prosperity, security and joy. May also indicate travel or a change in residence.
	The ninth and final card, placed in the center bottom of the triangle, represents the final outcome unless you change course. Queen of Swords, when reversed: The dark essence of air behaving as water, such as a cold rain: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees the weakness in any argument, and savages friend and foe alike with biting sarcasm. Dry and vicious wit covering a hollow sense of isolation and dissatisfaction with life.